Being a Dad

Being a dad is a very interesting thing.  There is a great span in the male life when the one thing that we want to avoid, is getting someone pregnant.  Truth be told, I am sure that some of you have had the “ I am late” conversation.  As time passes, you either end up pregnant or you find your person that you wish to voluntarily procreate with, the fact of being a father ends up staring you in the face.  The reality is, there are no qualifications to be a father or parent.  There is no book, blog or how-to guide. It is trial by fire in the best sense.  You spend the whole pregnancy watching your partner’s belly grow and it seems that the inevitable challenge of being a father is going to come down the pipe or be taken out   of the sunroof.  Then there is that moment.  The moment that your little one takes the first breathes of life.  Maybe they are wailing and flailing, maybe they are crying and wondering what the heck is going on, chances are they are doing both and you are feeling the same.  The moments before birth are a combination of fear, joy and maybe even nausea but here is the thing.  The moment that you see that little person come out into the world is a moment that you can never change.  You are now a father for LIFE.  There is no going back.  It is a privilege and honour to be called “Dad”. 

It would seem that the focus during pregnancy, birth and postpartum is on the woman.  Granted they are doing the lion’s share of the work in growing a human, delivering a child, and breastfeeding.  As men we are given the job of “planting the seed” but then it seems that we can become somewhat of a shadow. There may be hurt feelings by men because some seem to see men as being incompetent human beings when it comes to babies. There is a special role that you must now play.  As a new father you need to step up and be the best that you can muster.  If it is 2 am and your partner is feeding your child, you get a glass of water and a healthy snack if requested, and often it is not.  If you are tired and feel that you cannot go on, then you need to suck it up because I am pretty sure that your partner is struggling more then you.  You change the diaper no matter how gross it is.  You make time for your partner to nap.  You cook, clean, or take care of the other children.  Whatever it takes. You give a hand, two if you are able; to make sure that your family is taken care of.  I am not saying that it is easy, but what I am saying is that it is what makes things work and at the same time, be so rewarding.  The more support new parents get, the better off they are.  That starts with partners supporting each other.  Step up to the challenge of parenthood and your life will continue to be grand.  There will be times when you feel overwhelmed but one look from that little face, one connecting look, will make all of the difference. 

To all of the fathers out there that have stepped up, the world will thank you because your offspring will be better off for it.  To the ones that may not have done what they should have, for one reason or another, there is always a chance to be a redeem yourself, but it is your choice to make it happen. Remember, being a father is a privilege, not a right, and should be treated as so.

Just my thoughts .